When we get pregnant of a second or third child, most women think that it will not be possible to love him as the first. To melt as before with his look, with his smell, the same illusion in seeing him grow… We do not take care of ourselves as well as before, we cannot spend hours just feeling his kicks, and often we do not do any activity, nor preparation for childbirth; And we feel guilty with that son we carry in the womb.
We are so focused on raising the first, that the pregnancy of the second almost we do not remember.
But after childbirth… everything changes. We fall in love again with that heavenly smell of newborn and that look full of purity. And now we feel guilty for that eldest son, whom we cannot attend, who has more tantrums than ever, screams and jumps beside the sleeping baby and to our eyes he has become in the very “Conan the Barbarian”.
And the truth is that women, unfortunately and by inheritance, we have that tendency, to blame ourselves.
But the days pass, your hormones stabilize and it is then, when you realize that love has not been divided, but has been multiplied and that you can love without limits to two, three… You can love with the same intensity, but do you love in the same way?
I love my three children in different colours. I can never choose one before another. The intensity is the same, the colours, different.
To you Zoe, I love you in red because you made me mother, because your strength set my insides on fire and I will never be the same again; Because I have fought for you sword in hand, and because your eyes remind me the burning power of women.
To you Pep, I love you in yellow because our love is joyful and shines like the sun; Because every day you remind me that life is beautiful and fun.
And to you Cai, I love you in blue because you are calm and pause, because you are warm and soft and because, as third child, my motherhood is in you more serene.
And it is here, in our infinite heart of woman, where these invisible threads are born. Let go of the guilt and enjoy the colours.