When we get pregnant with a second or third child, most women think that it will not be possible to love it the same as the first. We undo ourselves the same way with his gaze, with his smell, the same illusion in seeing him grow… We don't take care of ourselves the same either, we can no longer spend hours just feeling his kicks, and often we don't do any activity, or prepare for childbirth; and we feel guilty with that child we carry in the womb.
We are so focused on the upbringing of the first, that we hardly remember the pregnancy of the second.
But after giving birth… everything changes. We fall in love again with that heavenly smell of a newborn and that look full of purity. And now we feel guilty for that eldest son, whom we cannot attend to, who has more tantrums than ever, screams and jumps next to the sleeping baby and who in our eyes has become "Conan the Barbarian" himself.
And it is that women, unfortunately and by inheritance, have that tendency, to blame ourselves.
But the days go by, your hormones stabilize and it is then that you realize that love has not been divided, but has multiplied and that you can love two, three without limits... You can love with the same intensity, but do you love in the same way?
I love my three hij@s in different colors. I can never choose one before another. The intensity is the same, the colors different.
To you Zoe, I love you in red because you made me a mother, because your strength set my insides on fire and I will never be the same again; because for you I have fought sword in hand and because your eyes remind me of the burning strength of women.
To you Pep, I love you in yellow because our love is happy and shines like the sun; because every day you remind me that life is precious and fun.
And to you Cai, I love you in blue because you are calm and pause, because you are warm and soft and because, as a third child, my motherhood is more serene in you.
And it is that, in our infinite heart of woman, these invisible threads are born. Let go of the guilt and enjoy the colors.