In mamayoga We work for and for mothers, those beings who could not be more generous. They give their body to a life that wants to come into this world through them, thus adapting their body, their emotions, their day to day life. And after giving birth, they take care of their puppy with limitless altruism, capable of overcoming any obstacle, they bring out a strength, courage and serenity that not even the Dalai Lama himself.
But what about the companion of this recently converted "Dalai Lama"? What about the role of the father, of the man?
There are blogs, Facebook groups, parenting groups, breastfeeding, etc., etc., so that mothers meet, nurture and support each other. Now, with the man it is something else.
During pregnancy, they see how the woman they knew begins to experience a true hurricane of emotions, in which they can cry-laugh, laugh-cry, all together at the same time. A woman who may suddenly feel the need to make big changes in her life (change her home, life or work habits, later in the postpartum period) and who needs the support of her partner.
Well yes, men in the room, it's time to follow this newly enlightened woman, and tell her: -Yes, my Dalai, I'll follow you wherever you want. It may seem crazy, but men, I promise you will not regret following him anywhere. Your wife is in a state of connection, with herself, with life and with your needs as a family, as she will never experience it, so pay attention to her.
Other tips for you during pregnancy:
MAKE HIM LAUGH
Yes, make him laugh a lot, laugh together. Not only for the simple joy of a good fit of laughter, but because it has its hormonal consequence.
Laughing is what makes the most endorphins secrete (the second thing would be dancing and the third, singing), and the high doses of endorphins, hormone of happiness, during pregnancy, create receptors for endorphins during childbirth. So if you want your wife to have a good birth, laugh a lot.
MAKE HIM MASSAGES
Massages cause a large amount of oxytocin to be released, a hormone of love, and also essential to have a good birth. So locate where your wife has her sacrum and massage her, every day.
Massage can also help you connect with the baby, without waiting for its movements, just touching your wife's uterus, its limits, its tonicity, and feeling the new life that is brewing inside. You can put your hand on your wife's belly, and let your son know that you're here, that you're waiting for him, that you're sorry. And without expectations, enjoy each other.
And which one is it your role during childbirth? You are accompanying the Dalai Lama made a real lioness, so be careful!
It's about being there for her and for her, without talking to her. If you talk to him, you activate his neocortex and that could cause labor to stall. She needs to make her journey, which will be more or less long or costly, until she becomes a lioness, a cat, a fox, a cow... so be her protector of silence, intimacy, and respect. Be the protector of that sacred process. Encourage him if you notice that at times he doubts, stay present when he looks for you with his hands or his eyes and do not take it personally, if in his process, he must leave you behind and does not even want you to touch him.
THE POSTPARTUM AS A COUPLE
And then? Then… postpartum. It should be a honeymoon, full of silence, tit, milk, intimacy...
And your work? Your guardian. You must take care of the housework, that there is nutritious food prepared and to manage the visits. Almost nothing, right?
Well, you are essential for your wife to be calm, confident and supported to take care of the baby. She may feel overwhelmed, have emotions running high, even have bad times. Don't take it personally, remind her how precious she is, how well she's doing, and how well she delivered (even if she's not satisfied).
She won't be able to take care of the housework, and she shouldn't. Your energy has to be focused on taking care of the baby, taking all the naps you need and resting. The purchase, preparing the food, the washing machines, etc. will depend on you.
And we come to the point of visits. Virtually all visitors are annoying and we are not in a position to look good. The first hours, even the first days, are to be enjoyed in privacy. No mother-in-laws with cologne who want to fuck the baby! Yes, it is politically incorrect to say this, but I have no intention of being correct, just giving you clues.
Visits that the mother wants to see, short (10, 20 minutes), without colony, willing to help bringing food or taking older siblings to the park, without colony and without demands to hold the baby. Dad, if you see that this is not the case, defend your wife and your child; she will not have the energy to do it and she will thank you infinitely.
AND THE SEX?
And what happens in this whole process with sex? Well, there are women who during pregnancy feel a great desire to make love, and others who do not, since it can be too strong an energy and can cause uterine contractions, which are good, but could make the woman uncomfortable. Sex during pregnancy should be gentle, careful and at the pace that the woman wants.
Just like postpartum. Most women who have just given birth and they are giving boobs they don't feel like making love. Her sexual part is now located in her breasts, which she breastfeeds for almost 24 hours. Also, depending on the birth you have had, it will take time for your genitals to feel pleasure again. So don't be in a hurry, don't pressure him and pamper him a lot without wanting to end up having penetrative sex. If during the process you feel too charged, you can do physical exercise, which will help you unlock all that accumulated energy. And I'll tell you a secret: what "turns on" a puerperal woman the most is your sweetness, pampering and care.
So, in short, guys, guys, we love you and we need you at this magical time. Your role is sometimes confusing and these are just some tips that I think can help you.
Take care of her and enjoy taking care of the woman who gestates your child and who takes care of it with all her being, from her insides. Take care of her with the same respect with which you would like your mother to be taken care of when you were part of her. And, above all, smile, despite the curves of the road, it will be wonderful.