At MAMAYOGA we work by and for mothers, those beings who could not be more generous. They give their body to a life that want to come to this world through them, thus adapting their body, their emotions, their day to day. And after giving birth, they take care of their puppy with unlimited altruism, able to overcome any obstacle, they draw force, courage and serenity that neither the Dalai Lama himself.
But what about the partner of that newly converted “Dalai Lama”? What about the role of the father, the man?
There are blogs, Facebook groups, parenting groups, of breastfeeding, etc., etc., for mothers to meet, nourish and support. However, with the man it is something else.
In pregnancy, they see how the woman they knew begins to live a real hurricane of emotions, in which it’s possible cry-laugh, laugh-cry, all together at the same time. A woman who can suddenly feel the need to make big changes in her life (change of house, living or work habits, later in the postpartum) and that she needs the support of her partner.
Yes, men in the room, it’s time to follow this newly enlightened woman, and say her, “Yes, my Dalai, I follow you wherever you want.” It may seem crazy, but men, I promise you will not regret following her to anywhere. Your woman is in a state of connection, with herself, with life and with your needs as a family, as she will never experience it, so, pay attention to her 😉
Other tips for you in pregnancy:
MAKE HER LAUGHT. Yes, make her laugh a lot, laugh together. Not only for the simple joy of a good attack of laughter, but because it has its hormonal consequence.
The laugh is what more endorphins make segregate (the second would be dance and the third, sing), and high doses of endorphins, happiness hormone, during pregnancy, creates receptors for endorphins during childbirth. So, if you want your woman to have a good childbirth, she has to laugh a lot.
MAKE MASSAGES TO HER. Massages cause a large amount of oxytocin released, the love hormone, and also indispensable for a good childbirth. So, locate where your woman has the sacrum and massage her, every day.
The massage can help you to connect with the baby too, without waiting for his movements, just touching your woman’s uterus, its limits, its tone, and feeling the new life that is brewing in there. You can put your hand on the belly of your woman, and let your child to know that you are, that you wait for him, that you feel him. And without expectations, enjoy each other.
And what is your role during the childbirth? You are accompanying to Dalai Lama made a real lioness, so watch out!
It is about that you are there by and for her, without speaking to her. If you talk to her, you activate her neocortex and that could cause the stagnate of childbirth. She needs to make her journey, which will be more or less long or costly, until to become in lioness, cat, fox, cow… so, be her protector of silence, intimacy, and respect. Be the protector of that sacred process. Encourage her if you notice that she doubts in moments, keep present when she seeks you with her hands or her look and do not take as a personal, if in her process, she should leave you behind and she don’t want you touch her.
And then? Then… the postpartum. It should be a honeymoon, full of silence, breast, milk, intimacy…
And your work? Her guardian. You should take care of the housework, make nutritious food and manage the visits. Almost nothing, right?
You are fundamental for that your woman is calm, confident and sustained to care the baby. She may feel overwhelmed, have living emotions, even she can have bad moments. Do not take it as a personal, remind her how precious she is, how well she is doing it and how well she did it at childbirth (even if she is not satisfied).
She will not be able to do housework, and she should not do it. Her energy has to focus on taking care of the baby, making all the naps she need and resting. The purchase will depend of you, prepare the food, the washing machines, etc.
And we arrived at the point of the visits. Virtually all visitors annoy and we are not in a position to look good. The first hours, even the first few days, are to enjoy in privacy. No mother in law with cologne who wants to catch the baby! Yes, it is politically incorrect to say this, but I have no intention of being correct, but of giving you clues.
Visits that the mother wants to see, short (10, 20 minutes), without a cologne, willing to help by bringing food or taking the older brothers to the park, without cologne and without demands to catch the baby. Dad, if you see that it is not so, defend your woman and your baby; she will not be with the energy to do it and will thank you infinitely.
And what happens in this whole process with sex? There are women who during pregnancy feel a great desire to make love, and others who not, since it can be too strong energy and can cause uterine contractions, which are good, but they could annoy the woman. Sex in pregnancy should be gentle, careful and at the rate the woman wants.
Same as postpartum. Most women who have just given birth and are breastfeed do not feel like making love. Its sexual part is now located in the breasts, which breastfeeding almost 24h. Also, depending on the childbirth she has had, she will need time for her genitals to regain their pleasure. So, do not be in a hurry, do not pressure her, do her a lot of pampering without wanting to end up having sex with penetration. If during the process, you feel too tense, you can do physical exercise, which will help you to unlock all that energy accumulated. And I tell you a secret: what most “turns on” to a postpartum woman, is your sweetness, pampering and care.
So, in short, men, partners, we love and need you in this magical moment. Your paper is sometimes confusing and these are just some tips that I think can help you.
Take care of her and enjoy taking care of the woman who gestates your son and who takes care of him with his whole being, from his insides. Take care of her with the same respect you would like your mother would have been tended when you were part of her. And above all, smile, despite the curves of the road, it will be wonderful.